Well, I was born a coal miners daughter...uh, wait, that was a previous life. Well, it all started back in the spring. I was born, and then things are kind of fuzzy for a while. My mother, she was of upstanding New England stock directly descended from some of those pilgrims what wore the funny hats. My father, well...Pop was from a brawling bunch of Irish folk that really liked beer. Anyway, here I was! Ready to take on the world. Early on in school, the authorities identified me as a clairvoyant who could speak with spirits and stuff, so that pretty much mapped out my future and led directly to my secret government training which I will describe here but you'll have to turn your head while you read it 'cause its classified. Ok, just joking, you can look at the screen now. Anyway, about that time the wife and I started looking into being cryogenically frozen, just in case. So we quit our jobs as stage hands on The Gong Show and headed West. And the rest is history as they say.

Yelling at my neighbors. Contemplating the universe. Hiding my wifes favorite kitchen utensils. Fishing. Hording food and natural gas in preparation for doomsday. Drawing. Scanning the heavens for signs of extraterrestrial life. Piling up rocks. Changing water in fish tanks and snorkeling. And oh yeah, digging up the occasional corpse.

What?...you mean like...work?